Unlicensed arcane retail
Magic Inu
Counterfeit courage, genuine parking validation.
Potion Lot Proprietor ★ One Wand Minimum ★ No School Credit ★ Receipts Vanish Nightly ★ Cauldron Adjacent ★ Mostly Safe Elixirs ★
Terms of Expulsion
Magic Inu left Hogwarts after an administrative disagreement concerning seventeen bottles of Phoenix Refund, sold beside the staff parking barrier. The labels were handwritten, the corks were borrowed, and the active ingredient was mostly orange squash. He now answers orders from a beige terminal, keeps the wand on the desk, and insists the green tip proves laboratory accreditation.
Lot-Side Alchemy
Open after detention; gone before the prefects finish tea.
Inventory
Three colours, one flavour, every bottle marked advanced.
Credentials
A pointed hat and a parking receipt with his name spelled wrong.
Customer Care
Complaints receive a mouse click, a long stare, and no refund.